itch.

when sudden fear grips,
my heart stops.
and i look heavenward,
for His peace.

i worry for your operation.

finally went to see the doctor today after deliberating for so long. not feeling too well with all those meds working in my system. kinda hyper alive yet dead-ish feeling. 2 more days of exams and i'll be free for my first real holiday in my entire lifetime of studying. well at least for once, there are totally no projects and assignments or school related rubbish to do during the upcoming 2 month break. thank God.

ugh. and the itch in my throat is killing me.

i'm tired yet awake. its a mighty strange feeling. and i have this strange urge to hug something... or someone. just that particular someone. a pity rawr is too small. (think pencil box size and similarly flat-ish with nothing inside) sighs. i wonder what things will be like in the weeks to come. honestly, i worry for my dearie's back. its strange cus i previously had God's peace. i think its the meds and the impending time of the month thing going. seriously terrible combination. oh yes, and not to mention, exam stress.

haven't had the motivation to study at all over the weekend. not too sure if i can make it for the coming 2 papers. We've got the guidelines for CS1.1 so it ain't that bad. just that i still can't get myself down to really studying for it, and the exam is tomorrow. oh joy.

Then there's CD1.2 which i think half the course populus has totally no idea about. no guidelines. no nothing. and the lectures were kind of a big mess without clear markers on what the module aims to accomplish. God's grace! i need God's grace! otherwise.... wait, no otherwise.

and i need to learn to speak to the sickness that so plagues me. it really seems that choy's perpetual/prolonged cough fabrication has weaved itself into reality. for me at least. *mutters under breath*

so many people i need to catch up with after my exams! let's make a nice little list so i won't forget...
1. there's Jo, who's going to York!
2. clement. but when will his prelims end?!
3. hanliang! oh gosh, wait, or is he already back in the states?
4. alex. we keep taking turns falling sick ey.
5. astro? meeps. i think dearie wouldn't like it.
6. didi and joshjosh. hehe. skating and the secret *****-******! i hope josh is a good teacher.
7. bryan... hmm.
8. shannon! yes shannon. 13th Sept ey? i'll try.

and to top that all off, i would need to spend most of my time looking after the bed-ridden penguin. i really hope he doesn't grow too fat in the process of lying in bed and playing RO all day. not very good for health dear.

and once again. i think i should go and study. or maybe i should just go sleep. ahh.