over the mountains and the sea

oh my gosh, my Lord my God... what was that?

and my mind is spinning round and round. God how much you must love me. to send someone to call me from half way around the world, just to sit me down and open my bible to read your word again. just to point that firm yet gentle finger at my heart and unblind the eyes that i myself have veiled. i am so so amazed. too amazed. i'm at a loss for words.

You are amazing.
God You are so amazing.
Thank You, Lord.

and your life, my friend, is the biggest living testimony i've personally known. praise be to God on high.

but Lord here i am again. and i fear. my spirit knows i fear but the wrong things. the words of man, and not the Word of God. i fear many things that i should not. and yet the one thing i should fear, i don't.

what should i do Lord? it has always been difficult to talk to Him about my walk with You. how i feel truly about certain things because he has so many of his own opinions that he holds fast to, and i fear losing him, esp after all that's happened. i'm afraid of causing conflict. i'm afraid of letting him go if You ask me to.

and You bring to mind Abraham, who willingly gave his son as a sacrifice to You knowing that You were the one who gave to him. and Lord You spared Isaac by Your loving grace and mercy. How far have i fallen? in witholding this Lordship.

i've always called you my Lord, my Saviour. but how true has it been? Lord of what? Lord of the things that i LET you be Lord of? i'm starting to see. but my heart still trembles. what does it mean to let You be Lord over everything. over the circumstances and consequences? If You told me to let him go. would i?

i fear O Lord, the coming of such a day.

then i look back and i can only point the finger at myself for giving too much that i shouldn't have given. now i fear losing all of that which i have given. and since when did i start deluding myself into believing a lie that i knew was wrong all along? Forgive me O Lord i ask. continue to guide me in Your way i ask.

For You have been nothing but faithful. how may i be faithful to You also?

'God only puts you through what you can handle.'

'I dreamt.... and i would break out in tongues. but last night, i walked away from it.'

'what kind of love is that? sooner or later it would just become a habit.'

'read John 14:1 and Joshua 1:5'

how, Lord, how? help me.

Testimony testimony!

Praise be to the Lord on high! For He is faithful in all things, and His mercies endure forever~!

weee. first update since i've shifted house! (: just had a good dinner with my family. YES MY FAMILY. as in dad mom and sis. like FINALLY. as in, home-cooked meal, after so long! i really thank God for that wonderful time, although short. and my mom actually spoke to my dad. ^^ i am happy ((((:

Dad was sharing with us over dinner, some amazing testimonies that he heard from his friends. Christian friends. oh how i praise God for good Christian brethren! Indeed He is faithful in answering our prayers. dad was telling us bout an Frenchman who got saved by a surfer angel. how cool is that! well he didn't exactly phrase it that way... i added in the angel part cus i really think it was an angel... how else would it be so timely and so prompt? interesting... i wanna see angels too!

mmm. and i trust that God will continue to be with my family and lead us in His ways.

So yes, about new house. lovely lovely place it is. i like it alot. so much more homely than my grams' house maybe cus at least i don't return home to an idol altar anymore. haha~ but it seems my grams and uncle miss us alot. kinda miss them too. oh yes i thank God for my beloved uncle. and i pray he be shown God's realness too. He did up our whole house. and in yes, whole entire house - the scrapping, tearing down of the old stuffs (i.e. damn weird wallpaper thing and wirings in the cornices), plastering, skim coating, painting the many many layers, doing up all the lights and fans and electric socket points plus phone points, toilet sink moving, piping for washing machine and the list goes on.... ain't he one able man! and we saved so so much money on all that. (: praise be to our Lord who provides.

and i love my fridge. ^^ those who haven't heard about my happy fridge testimony can come ask me :)

now what else? hmmm. i pray that Lord You watch over my dear uncle and his health. teach him to give up smoking please! ahhh so terrible. so bad for his health.

and yes, i thank God for my dearie. oh wait, and my wonder mum! ahhh so much to thank God for. haha (: i thank God for joy. mmm. yes.

dearie? thanks. i appreciate your respect and concern for me. more than words can express. loves.

and Papa God... ^^ You know. (:

ta~

i hate cramps.
and i hate people who make empty promises even more. yes people, not the action of doing so, because this goes to show the person's character and how reliable he is.