of synaptic impulses

Sometimes i think i think too little such that my brain doesn't really work after awhile. either that or i think too fast that the thoughts don't exactly sink or register in my head before they are whisked away to some remote corner in the back of my brain. i wonder if anyone has ever felt that before... or am i just weird? most of the time i'd think i am but then i'd discover a few months or years down the road that others actually experience the same things... the curious nature of the human cognity. and my boy would argue that mine doesn't exist.

so enough about that strange i-don't-know-what. somehow i always need something to start my flow of thought (esp if i were to put it down in text) else it doesn't really flow properly. more often than not i think about so so much to say and to blog about, but when i actually sit down and open up the dinky little browser, my thoughts run dry and i end up not writing anything. yes i am often afraid of ranting incessantly without a clear objective (and you can see why now) and boring my readers out there. then again, i haven't decided whether or not this is to be yet another of my private blogs or to make this a public one. its quite a hassle to maintain a proper blog with a nice tagboard and proper skins etc... i'm not sure if i'm up for it yet.

anyways, i'm still sitting in the middle of my holidays... and it has felt that way since like 2 weeks ago cus this holiday is so long and i haven't exactly anything specific to accomplish during this period except for the assortment of little errands to run like buying of things for the new house and helping dwights with his geography. and of course not to forget, looking after the penguin who is growing hopelessly chubby. looks like i'm doing an awfully good job. they should pay me!

talk about pay. i seriously need to find a job. from $2,400 + -----> $300 measly bucks left in my savings account T___T how utterly sad is that. and dearie and i went window shopping today (not really intended but he wanted to get his bangers and mash so we WALKED all the way to balmoral plaza for a bite at Waffle House, ironically not for waffles but for burgers, and then to far east.... which is .... faaaar. and i realized today that newton mrt station is actually VERY near to Orchard Road) So, back to window shopping... the clothes and accessories, ear-rings in particular, are so pretty and tempting... i've got a mental list of things i want to buy. but then again everyone knows i never get down to actually spending that money on myself cus i'm very much a miser when it comes to me... plus the nagging fact that i have only $300 left in my poor poor account... the feeling kinda eats you up. this sad sad pitiful *whine* i-can't-afford-those-pretty-things feeling. bahh. so yes, that about sums up why i need to find a job.

so many many many pretty things! and just to sate my yearnings, i shall make a tiny list of them here so that perhaps i may sleep better tonight by getting them out of my head...

1. nice earrings. i never get enough of them!
2. pretty skirts
3. and tops (the 2-in-1 piece kinds and the off shoulder kinds)
4. lingerie, proper.lingerie.
5. dresses! now who wears dresses at this age! o wells i'm growing old.
6. hats! aish the $1.90 hat! (yes they're selling these cute hats at only $1.90 at Dhoby Exchange!!)
7. a proper pair of walking sandal's slippers... (since i got caught in the rain early this month, mine have gone kinda soggy and puffy... T_T)
8. i lost my bikini
9. how bout those pretty pretty accessories for hair, hands, neck... everywhere!

haha. i seriously think i'm turning into a tai-tai. this is bad. i'm becoming a girl. never used to drool so much after all these attractive things. yes i'm almost always in those berms and big huge t-shirts that are recycled every other day. i'm 19 but people take me for a pri-5 kid. how sad is that. sighs. but its not that i don't want to dress well.... it just.... takes so much effort to. for one, i'd need to be able to afford the clothes. then its the hair and the tedious process of removing em. (if you've seen my leg hair you'll understand). then its the accesorizing.... time-consuming but always worth the while.

doing it halfway, however, has never been my style. so its either dress totally for comfort, or really make it look good. it usually falls under the former, sadly.

i aspire to revamp my wardrobe. (: and look presentable everyday. by presentable, i mean stylish. don't burst my bubble. i can and will achieve it. some day. when God so decides He will provide more to allow that.

I know my God is faithful. and yes! my house is almost ready! we're moving in next month! how exciting! Apart from the fact that my room is blue and yellow. think CANDY blue and yellow. quite strange indeed. but the hall looks pretty good. lime green and pale yellow. to think the some fellow in the neighbouring block tried to copy us by painting similar colours! haha~ mum's sense of colours is honestly quite brilliant. i just find the lights a tad too bright. but its all good. (: Praise God for my uncle who helped us to do up almost everything! and Praise God no one really blamed me for killing the main door.... eeks. ask me if you want to know more about how i cleverly locked 4 of us inside the new house. meeps.

so there. and each time i blog, its such a long entry. either that, or i don't blog. oh wells. i need more consistency in my life. till then. you'll have to make do with this~ (:

awesome

Zeph 3:17

When Brent looked at me, the first word he said was music. i was amazed. how did he know, that out of the people there, i was serving in the music ministry, and not an usher, or sound crew or something...

and he read my name as... "quing" ling (most caucasians tend to pronounce my name that way on first sight). what does your name mean he asked. celebration and longevity, i replied, but he kinda cut me off after i said celebration and he pointed out that my parents must have been greatly inspired in giving me that name. i made a feeble effort to conceal my disbelief by widening my eyes in attempt to give the 'really? oh cool!' look.

Then he said, the Lord our God rejoices over you in singing. If you want to know what the song is about, turn to Zeph 3:17 and you'll find it there.

I see you in, a flowing robe... he gestures the outline of a hood over my head. and i can't remember if the rest was just a figment of my imagination or part of what he said, so i shall not mention it.

how could he tell? O_O never had anyone prophesy over me before.

the Lord our God the Father rejoices over me in singing! awesome.

Breakthrough!

and only by the blood of the Lamb. praise be to God!

the importance of reading the Word of God. and the authority given to us in our words. lots of reinforcements.

"awaken O you sleeper, awaken from your deep slumber!"
now what have i missed while i was asleep!

and the carnal nature is DEAD.

DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD! hah. so if the devil ever manages to convince you that it has some hold over you, he's deceiving you.

and the present perfect tense.
am i making any sense at all? perhaps i shall blog again soon, when my head's a little clearer =) taa~

of random thoughts

*POW* SOW. Somehow though, it took some kind of stamina to sustain worshipping for 2 hours straight. i think the days spent standing in our SN field listening to xiao zhang talk pays off. =) but my feet still hurt about 1.5 into worshipping. need to go running and exercising soon. otherwise i'm cultivating a pet tummy. eeks.

and yay! my mama is talking to me again. thank God. hee. and now they're talking about the importance of a nice toilet in a house. things we women talk about. its so expensive to do up our new place... things we need/want to get:

1. repaint the walls
2. fridge
3. washing machine
4. a new toilet bowl (hey its not my idea, ask my sis...-_-)
5. folding doors
6. proper window grails
7. the flooring; proper tiles

sighs. expensive heh. God please provide!